The Truth About How Men Fall In Love

» Posted by on Apr 28, 2012 in My Blog | 0 comments

The Truth About How Men Fall In Love

Recently, I shared my thoughts with a member about the definition of love. In response to an “Ask Rachel” question about the nature of love, I wrote:

“Love is an ever-present noun, verb, and adjective. It is an emotion that makes you want to be with someone–no matter what. It is unconditional, and it sometimes defies logic. It is a drug—almost as powerful as heroin. Love is always having hope and never giving up. It is wanting the best for that person even when that person doesn’t give you the best back. Romantic love can be fear, pain, hatred, anger, jealousy, happiness, friendship, attraction, chemistry, and joy all wrapped into one.”

Yes, falling in love is a very big deal!

Indeed, there are as many definitions of love as there are ways that men and women fall.  A lot of women ask me how to make a man in fall in love with them.  Are you wondering if there’s some tried and true method for getting him to fall in love with you?Some secret you don’t know? A love spell, perhaps? Ha.

Well, unfortunately, ladies, you can’t always make a man fall in love with you—nor should you have to try so hard. Some men just can’t love you—or anyone. But plenty of others can love you forever-evs.  You won’t have much success if you are trying too hard to manipulate a man’s emotions. And, you know, you can’t hurry love.

However, there are some things you can keep in mind to speed up the process of a getting a man to fall in love with you.  Here are three truths about how men fall in love:

Truth #1: Men are visual creatures. 

This is a fact. Exploit it.  To begin with, create a unique personal style that is true to who you are and shows your image is attractive and your grooming is impeccable.  While fashion fades with the changing of the seasons, influx of new designers, and the trends in the media, style is personally yours forever. It’s not about looking like everyone else. Sure, you can buy the “in” pieces with the best of the fashionistas, but you can’t buy style. It’s that innate talent of instinctively knowing how to work them into your wardrobe. Do you know how to mix, match, and throw something together in less than five minutes for a big night on the town? You should learn and also make sure everything is flattering-from the details of your hair and makeup to your nails and accessories. It is all about looking as perfect as you can to create that fantasy for him. (So don’t ruin it with chipped polish!) However, I am not suggesting you look plastic or too made up. Most of my male clients tell me they like  a natural beauty. They want the girl next door with a hint of sex appeal or a woman who is glamorous, sexy, and classy in one–as long as she doesn’t look like it took her seven hours to get ready!

Truth # 2: Men like a little mystery.

You have probably heard this before, but the important thing is to pay attention to the key words “a little.” Some women go overboard in their attempts to be mysterious or hard to get and turn men off. To get him to fall in love with you, give him just enough information for him to want to know more, and be just enough of a challenge for him to want to pursue you. This may seem vague or tricky, but it is not a difficult task. To put it simply,  don’t give it all up to soon: Take that as you will, but get this straight: Whether “giving it up” means sexual acts or sharing the details of your entire life story, when dating, it is best to give it up in moderation. Use common sense. Sleeping with a guy on a first date, talking prematurely about marriage and children, or calling him several times a day in the early stages of dating are common female behaviors that repel men. If you do one (and are really hot) you might get away with it, but combine them all and risk him running for the hills!

Truth # 3: A man falls in love and wants to commit when he meets a woman who adds value to his life.

The first two truths are well and good and will get you a fair share of dates alone, but if you want to get him to fall in love with you, number three must be embraced. You need to engage him emotionally, and this can be hard to do without knowing who he is. You’ll need time to develop true empathy so you will be able to appeal to his emotions. The fastest route to an emotional connection is showing him that you you understand him and add value to his life. Men are practical creatures, and if he sees that his life is better with you in it, he will want to continue seeing you. With repeated exposure, good looks and personality-sprinkled with a little mystery- will anchor him to you.

The ultimate truth is that many women are capable of looking hot, being mysterious, or adding value to a man’s life. As a woman who understands how to embrace and epitomize these truths, you will be powerful enough to find the man of your choice and get him to fall in love with you with just a little effort. In due time!


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